MY IDEAL BIRTHDAY

(Yes, I know how it sounds! :P)

First things first, a very Happy Birthday to me! :-D
Basically, I m a loner. I might have a huge friend circle and have lots of fun with them but at the end of the day, I prefer being alone, with my thoughts and possibly, a scribbling pad and a pencil to jot it all down. I like to see myself as a blossoming writer :) so the greatest feeling in the world for me is being able to put my thoughts to words with the same natural beauty with which they appear in my mind. My idea of the perfect birthday is a day spent all alone in nature's abode, possibly in a quiet hill station.I detest the idea of "hanging out" with friends or spending "quality time" with family on MY special day. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I just consider time spent on others as an investment and the best investment one can make is on oneself.

I would consider myself lucky  if someday I could just take a break for a week before my birthday and gift myself a big spa holiday in some remote corner of the world, replete with natural beauty, rich in flora and fauna. Cold weather stimulates the mind. It acts like a push button for my creativity. Hilly areas are best for writers and artists. Ah! How I wish I was in one such place right now! Till the day that turns into reality, I hold on to the hope. I am an avid dreamer who believes in the power of dreams and my dreams are my reason for living. I have a wish, a dream and I hope to reach my destination with my head held high. In ABBA's words:
"I have a dream, a song to sing 
To help me cope with anything 
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale 
You can take the future even if you fail 
I believe in angels 
Something good in everything I see 
I believe in angels 
When I know the time is right for me 
I'll cross the stream- I have a dream!" 

WHEN IT RAINS

As the downpour continues mercilessly, the fog starts lifting up and the clouds in my head clear a bit. It wasn't even that long ago. It just so happened that yet another random encounter turned out to be a life lesson in the offing. Water splashes down my window and I m lost in countless thoughts; Just which ones to pen down is a tough decision. I may blabber, I might ramble but it's okay. When it comes to talking about ambiguous feelings, words have little to offer. I wonder what it would have been like if life connected us in a simplistic manner, in an uncomplicated, plain manner. What if situations weren't as tough and life gave us the right place, the right signal at the right time. And how do I trust you? For you are a stranger of tides, of places far, far away. "Distance makes the hearts grow fonder"?

Destiny didn't really had to put in so much effort. We were at the same place for years, without ever crossing paths. Why was that particular instant chosen for us? Why did we meet the way we did, instead of having steered clear of each other over an imaginary space? What made us come together like this? Life can be so simple. All we need to do is follow our hearts. Instead, we live a restricted life full of regrets. We worry that the society will think this, it will label us that; when in reality, the society exists only in our minds and the guilt and fear instilled in us by our parents. There is no need of guilt and fear in our daily lives- not unless you happen to be a world class criminal anyway. Our world could be so much more beautiful in the absence of these parasitic emotions which suck out all our happiness and pleasurable experiences and dirty our conscience with remorseful thoughts lacking in true meaning and purpose.

When it rains, it pours. My heart is full of emotions, my brain is full of thoughts and I m rambling. I write with no intention, I like the flow of thoughts. I put my fingers on the keypad and let my intuition guide me, for good or for worse. I wish I could forget. It reminds me of a a scene from the famous James Bond movie "Quantum of Solace" in which he asks for a "pill to forget or repair heartbreaks". I m in need of the same, desperately. They say its only your heart that breaks when actually your whole body is in pain, not to mention the emotional, mental and psychological agony caused by crushing of the emotions. We can laugh at it, make fun of it but at the end of the day, you can't lie to yourself. Ultimately, you have to smile for the world while the broken pieces of your heart cling to your chest and make it bleed every time you breathe.
But, such is life dearies! Cruel, unkind, jealous and inconsiderate.