THE TYPES OF WANNABES I DETEST

We've all met them. They exist everywhere and irritate the crap out of all the sane people around who do not share their sentiments. I think I find at least one of these seven kinds of wannabes around me every single day and can't help but pray that someone would someday, politely, show them the mirror. Here's my list: 

1. The Wannabe JOKER-:  
So, you want to "put a smile on that face"? Good! Please don't ruin it by faking an accent you know nothing about. Not unless you are a professional mimic anyways. Do everyone a favor and stop roaming around with the kitchen knife meant to give your character a "real-life feel". More importantly, stop acting crazy! No one looks good smacking their lips, craning their necks and giving weird looks to every passer-by. Just Please STOP.

2. The Wannabe SHERLOCK-:
Its good that you possess deduction skills to boast of but is it really necessary to embarrass your friends by telling them that you recognize their morning face of shame or that their shoes tell you where they have been really bought from? Trust me, most of you embarrass yourself more than you can imagine. The hollow pipe you dodge around from one corner of your mouth to another is not fooling anyone. Cloaks were uber-cool in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's century. I am sorry, but have you been transported directly from there?

3. The Wannabe GUITARIST/"ROCK STAR"-:
Where do I even begin on this one? Who do you really think you look like with that bag of bones you call a body after  stoning yourself silly for what seems like an eternity paired with those ugly long locks? Jim Morrison? The number of men who try this and fail is equal to the number of panelists who try to open their mouths in Arnab Goswami's 'Newshour' but alas! Long hair suit just a handful of men. If you have the talent, why do you even need a "look" that doesn't really convey who YOU are?  Before taking the plunge, just ask yourself one simple question: Who is actually going to play the guitar- you or your hair?

4. The Wannabe MODEL-:
Ah! We all know one, don't we? Mind you, I am NOT talking about women only here. Actually, the male wannabe models irritate me much more than their female counterparts. You are all Hulk-ed up and ready to face the camera? Sorry, no chance. You see, there are 'n' number of factors that would limit you and no, "small town" isn't one of them. As far as you girls are concerned, just because the neighborhood Pappu thinks you should be the next Miss India does not mean you wail over how the real judges of the contest rejected you "only because they are partial". Has it ever occurred to you that there is a certain set of international standards that they need to follow and Mr. Pappu's opinion isn't one of them? And Puh...lease stop misusing the term 'Dieting' everytime you eat a fruit or have to refuse that oily plate of snacks your relatives push in front of you. It gives a bad reputation to people like me, who are biologically skinny and do not diet.

5. The Wannabe NERD-:
I get that cracking exams means everything in this country and that being "smart" really takes you places but kindly note that making a mockery of your knowledge by shoving it into other peoples faces at every social gathering is really not the way to go. If you think you are an efficient Programmer/Coder, use it at the proper place. If you read classic English literature, good for you; just don't expect the whole world to follow your lead. You see, the rest of us may not have the "brains" you've got but we do have a little something known as common sense that tells us that you are dying for attention just like a five-year old who seeks appreciation and approval by reciting his/her favorite nursery rhyme on a loop. Get my point?

6. The Wannabe "NIGGA"-:
No; you're not my "broda from anoda motha" ('brother from another mother', for the uneducated). I see no point in your latest makeover with shorts that are a crime hand-off between a baggy jeans and a casual three-fourth or those neck-pieces you wear that seem to be Marley's chains to me. Even that carelessly tossed over baseball cap seems useless in this cricket-obsessed nation. And what's with the accent and the rapping in sync with the jerky hand movements and the crouching shoulders? To me it seems like you're having a fit.

7. The Wannabe "COOL"-:
...Or should I say 'KEWL'. This makes up for almost 65% of the total Wannabe population. One of these alone is sufficient to ruin a comfortable journey or lovely college environment. Do you really think that cramming up every latest fad and following every single fashion tip off tacky websites and newspapers is going to take you far? Listening to everyone's favorite rock band isn't going to do much for you either. Most importantly, stop typing like you've never attended a single English class in your life. If you want to write "My" please don't type "Mah" as the "uncool folks" like me simply refuse to understand.

Dear Wannabes,
Desperation reeks. It is the single most obvious thing about you. For your own sake, put a curb on trying to "fall in line" with "what's rolling" in the world right now. Actually, there's not much you need to do: Find yourself and Be that person.
Sincerely,
Me.
 








 

 

'S'

Success begets success,
And I am just a starry mess of all things messy;
I have long forlorn victory,
and made merry in the knowledge that "success is counted sweetest by those who never succeed";
I have walked too far from where I began,
Tried and tested, Tired and rested,
I kept going.
Now, I see no more
Clouds fog the path ahead;
I look up and see no God,
No guardian angels,
I see the mirror
and I find my guiding light,
I find myself
and I find my fate.

REGRETS

How do we ever know which choice will lead us through in life and which will become a "bad" choice? How do we decide which path to take? In some circumstances, it is a well-calculated decision while in most of the others, it is just plain, dumb luck which decides which way would prove to be the greener side. If we are at the receiving end of the bargain, we are happy and if, by chance, we do not get what we think we signed up for, we end up with regrets. "What if I would have chosen the other way?", "It would have been wonderful if I would have tread a different path!", "I wish I could go back in time and guide myself through that difficult time." are some of the statements we make when faced with the colloquial two roads diverging in a yellow wood.

It is so easy to be fazed by the obstacles that destiny places in our way. we don't even realize that life gives us problems only because it considers us capable enough to deal with whatever it puts ahead of us. Instead of having a firm belief in ourselves, we lose confidence and in the absence of self-confidence, we lose all faith on any kind of higher power that might guide us through. We are the instruments of God. All energy passes through our body, which is nothing but a medium to channel the Lord's will. In surrendering is great power. It liberates us of guilt and fear. It awakens us and all that is truly needed in this universe is humans who have come alive.

Freedom

What does "freedom" mean to you? For me, it is living a life with no consequences- the life where I don't have to worry about the future nor be conscious about my past. I want to live the present for what it truly is meant to be, a 'present'. My heart longs for long trips to nowhere, sleeping unconventionally, not giving a damn about any rules or societal norms, eating as and when and how much I like, dressing exactly how I please and most importantly, not giving the least bit of thought to what others think of me because it is so not my problem.

The reality is bitter. There seems to be no place for my kind of freedom. The society we live in is truly fucked up. It exists in bits and fragments with everyone talking of "development" and "broad mindedness" while actually thinking in a manner which would put the most orthodox among us to shame. Duality is the rule. In a world in which diplomacy is considered to be a positive trait this is only to be expected. We just can't BE ourselves, no matter what the greatest artists of all times say. They lived there life with a carefree attitude that came with much struggle and strife with this society which tries to kill everyone's dreams.

I believe, the biggest pearl of wisdom that you can give to anybody these days is 'Never let your dreams die'. If you have a dream, protect it because in some way or the other, the society is out to get you. Be strong, rigid and confident. Live life like its the first day of your entire life. Live life like no one's watching. Live life like you rule the universe. Shine and Sparkle and then maybe, just maybe, this world will see you for what's truly special and unique about you. Then you will be free to live life exactly the way you please.

And I Win!

I am happy. The long days of struggle are over and natural order is restored. The power struggles of the past were undoubtedly ruled in my favour. I win.

Whatever you just read is not even close to truth. Yes, I won a petty war but who’s the happy character here? It is my ego. The war of power is always fought between two groups of eager control freaks with inflated egos. I might have won this battle but in my heart, my soul has lost a big fight today. When you argue with a fool, you prove that you are no different. It is the same with my ego hassle. I ended up being the same ego-maniac I was fighting against. Was it worth it? Absolutely not!

This simple sequence of incidents makes me wonder if I will always be like this. Life will, no doubt throw my way many more such confrontations with less evolved souls. Does that mean I should also dip in order to come down to their level just to prove my point? I hardly think so. My soul says I am bigger than this and that I shouldn’t have let that entity called “ego” rule my head in the first place. When a bull blocks your way, you don’t negotiate, you simply take a different path. I should have been the mature one here and let them take what they call “power” and live with it. This would have served two purposes: First, I would have followed my heart and not entered the war and Second, it would have made my opponent’s wish come true. Now, the second part here is not about me being a good person and wanting my opponent’s happiness. Fact is our grandest wishes are also our worst nightmares; we just don’t know it. Inherently, we are all afraid of having our wishes come true. They are called “wishes” for a reason. Sooner than later, they turn against us. “Be careful what you wish for” is an old but very valid saying. Actually, we never know what is good for us. We are all just guessing. This makes us passengers in the same caravan and reinstates the philosophy that we are all part of one, big family: ‘Vasudhev Kutumbakam’

CAPRICORNS- The power-hungry and desperately attention-seeking lot!

I hate Capricorns. Its natural, I am a Leo. They are my zodiacal enemies. The reason for this natural animosity is that the basic needs of a Leo and a Capricorn are the same. They both need to be noticed and in-charge. The only difference is that Leos are capable of the same, being naturally talented while Capricorns suck... BIG TIME! Leos want power to make the world a better place while Capricorns strive for power for the sake of power. Leos are natural commanders while Capricorns beg and plead to get noticed and are obviously desperate for power, no matter how petty it is. Capricorns can play dirty games while Leos prefer walking away with dignity. Contrary to the popular belief a Leo isn't always playing to dominate, they are always playing to win. Capricorns, on the other hand, need to show the world that they are in control. Another false belief about Leos is that they like attention. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is in fact, Capricorns who relentlessly crave for attention as they are the people who would die to maintain a particular image in public and nothing matters more to a Capricorn than having a good image in public, no matter how full their closets are with skeletons of dreadful deeds from the pasts. The biggest difference between Leo and Capricorn is that Leos are noble; they have a heart of gold so, at the end of a long day striving for power they will love their subjects while Capricorns are inherently evil, which means, after achieving power they abuse it to put their supporters in misery. Yet another misnomer is that Leos love flattery. Capricorns are proved to be much more affected by flattery than any Leo ever can be. You see, every Leo has a deep sense of justice. If a Leo's admirer is a bad singer and they have to push them through an audition as the judge, they would NEVER do that while a Capricorn in the same position will not only get them in the show but will also go against the rules to make them win it.  Capricorns make the politicians of the worst kind as they would promote only the people close to them to a position of power just so that they can boss around better. Capricorns hide themselves under the mask of being "sensitive and emotional" when the truth is that there is hardly anybody more sensitive and emotional than a Leo. If you want to catch a glimpse of the evil in every Capricorn use this technique: Ask them to selflessly do something for you, it could be anything from giving you their favorite book to read to fetching them some ice from the refrigerator. In all probability they will say yes with a smile to your face and not do anything about it actually, saying "So what, people think I run errands around here? They need to know who THE B-O-S-S is!". Try the same with a Leo and either they will say 'No' straight to your face or if they agree, they will make sure they do it. Leos don't believe in making empty promises, or making big declarations and not following up. There is a reason why every astrologer who is anything in her/his field calls Leo the natural, real LEADER of the zodiac sign while Capricorns are the negative bosses who are 'made' (by climbing up the stairway made of fellow workers bones, flesh, sweat and blood) not born.

The Golden Glory

They say success is getting what you want and happiness is wanting what you get. I believe this is so true. How many times have you had a spell of misfortune that ruins all your attempts to salvage a moment exactly as you wanted? Have you ever had the wheel of fortune run in a reversed cycle for an event? I have and that is, right now. The aim is to distract your mind so that the worst of it doesn’t reach your heart. It is the ripple effect. Whatever the mind thinks reaches the heart and turns into deep-set emotions. We need to fill our minds with happy thoughts and keep on working hard. No matter how difficult the circumstances around us get, we must never give up on striving for success. ‘Keep on moving on’ and ‘Don’t stop believin’ aren’t just songs, they define a whole generation’s thinking pattern and re-affirmations. They tell us that self-belief is the key to the greatest successes after all, “Courage is not always a loud roar. Sometimes, it is the small voice at the back of our heads that says tomorrow I will try again.” 

Conflicts, Struggles and The Pursuit of Happiness

"When the soul is stirred to its in-most depth
  Great ones unfold their best."

For every situation there are precisely two most well-suited coping mechanisms- Fight or Flight. While truce is a good option for preventing world wars and ensuring peace, it is not always the best option when it comes to personal, day-to-day struggles. There are times when even the most docile among us have to  resort to personal conflict. Sometimes the ends have to justify the means.There is peace in war and war in peace. We attain greater peace in the world and within ourselves by creating wars.

Struggles turn us, twist us but in the end we come out brighter than before. No goal worth achieving has ever been attained without going the extra mile, without fighting with the providence or without resorting to the fundamental human right to justice. In an environment where total buffoons run the world, it is only the rightful duty of a sane individual to take the chords in her hands. We would have never evolved to a civilized race had it not been for struggles.

 One section of the society struggles for power while the other section attempts to keep them chained. The question is what costs us more- war or peace? The answer is obvious. Keeping quiet in the face of oppression and wrong-doings is much higher a fee to pay than fighting hard or, standing up for what you believe in. Being tormented in silence for long is the fee we have to pay if we ignore the early signs just to avoid war and its consequences. True, when there's war there are consequences but it's crucial to remember what we are fighting for and if the cause is strong enough to keep you moving, stay on track and never deter from the path of self-righteousness.